I just finished watching the Pursuit of Happyness. I enjoyed that movie a lot and felt really involved and attached to the main character. At the end of the movie I felt like.... different... kind of like... the things that I thought were important were not so important.
For instance, I've been single for 21 years and having a girlfriend is something that I think (sometimes more than I should....) and worry about. But after the movie I didn't care. I didn't care about the NBA Finals, I didn't care about being better at basketball (I've obsessed over it this summer, I played until 1 am last night in my driveway), I didn't care about the Mets playing the Phillies, and I didn't care about the many summer plans I have with my friends. I just kept thinking about.... other people who less fortunate than me.
In fact after the movie I went to my local groccery store to pick up a midnight snack and I saw this mexican worker walking on the side of the road and it was 12 am and I was so close to picking him up and driving him home and talking to him about things. I started to think about how blessed I am, of how God has truly overflowed my life with riches and luxaries.
Then I started to think about the main character: Chris Gardner. The man is simply inspiring. His love, dedication, and hardwork has got him so far. He is definately extraordinary; I mean they made a movie about him, how can he not be extraordinary?! The scene I remembered and loved the most was when they were playing basketball and he told his son not to get his hopes up about being an NBA player because it's nearly impossible and his son was hurt by his father's comments. Then his father went on to tell his son to not let anyone take away his dreams. That if he wants to be someone he should strive for it no matter what people tell him.
Then I started to think again (hahaha this movie made me think a lot....) I am going to be an educator. I will have the oppurtunity to change childrens' lives. Help them, encourage them, and root for them to be whoever and whatever they want to be no matter what. And then I started to think again, why do I have to be someone ordinary? Why do I have to be someone who just wakes up and goes to work everyday and just fade into the background?
I'm not saying I want to be rich, honestly being rich is not really appealing to me. But what I am saying is that there were plenty of inspiring people who did amazing things. They are recognized by people and we studied about them in our history classes. People like Martain Luther King Jr, Mother Teresea, Harriet Tubman, and others. Now my question is what makes them so different from me? We breath the same air, we eat 3 times a day, we feel pain, we feel joy, we have dreams and aspirations. There was nothing about them that makes them so much more different than me. If anything I can probably school all of them in basketball.
So why can't I be someone who does something to change this world? Why do I have to settle to be someone who just fades into the background? This is something that I have thought about before the movie but after watching the movie has inspired me. Maybe it was God talking to me but I said to myself why can't I be someone that all people will know because of my service to this world? Why can't I be someone who does something that brings God's peace and love to this world in such a profound way that it impacts my generation and generations to come?
And the answer is that there is none. There is no reason why I can't be someone like that. This one pastor said, "Just be on fire for God! Because when you are on fire for God people just stand back and watch..." One of my favorite praise songs is Not to Us and my favorite line in that song is "Let our worship burn for the world to see!" That's what I want to be. In fact that's what I am going to be.
I am going to be someone so on fire for God and His work through my career as an educator that people will just stand back and watch. And I pray that through my good works and sacrifices to God people will praise Him. That's what I am going to be, someone who does not just change lives, but someone who changes this generation! Someone who people will remember for doing great, awesome, and profound things for generations to come! And in the midst of all the acclaim I will lift God so high so that all those people can see of how great my God is!
I hope that's all of our prayers. That we can be people who are on fire and the world just steps back and watches us burn and in the midst of all this we can lift the name of Jesus so high that the world can see His amazing love.
"All that I am, all that I have, all my regrets, all my acclaim the joy and the pain I am making them Yours. Lord I offer my life to You everything I've been through use it for Your glory. Lord I offer my days to You, lifting my praise to You as a pleasing sacrifice. Lord I offer You my life."
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
How Can I Stand Here with You and Not be Moved by You?
I just finished reading a awesome book that a recommend for everyone who is simply a Christian. It's about a woman's life who goes through everyday Christian struggles and her take on life. It's easy to relate to and interesting to read. It's called "Angry Conversations with God" by Susan E. Isaacs. It's very contemporary and progressive. But my favorite part about it is that it is real and honest. It is definitely not one of those John Piper books which talk about deep theological stuff (nothing against those, I love those too) but this book is just a real, creative, and refreshing book about who our God is.
Basically this lady Susan is going through some crazy rough patches in her life (breaking up with a boyfriend who keeps telling her she's the one and seeing him with another woman a week after.... pretty rough...) and she feels that God has left her and is angry with God. So because she knows that we are married to Christ she decides to take God to marriage counseling. She creates this fictitious therapist who is a mix of all the pastors and counselors who really helped her through her rough times and she creates a version of God and Jesus (as if they are there) out of all the ways God has spoken and responded to her.
I just finished the book and I do not want to ruin it for anyone who wants to read it, but spoke to me through this book. He reminded me that life is not about us, it's not about what we want, but it is simply about Him.
This idea is the reason why people have a hard time believing in God. I love philosophy and English simply because I get to see how secular people think and why they think it. It helps me understand them and see where they are coming from. It's also tiring and conflicting at times because in order to get a good grade in the class or understand what they are teaching I have to, not necessarily compromise my faith, but I have to listen to their points and accept them as valid. And the conclusion that I have come to is that the reason why most people struggle with believing in God is because people just simply cannot accept responsibility.
What I mean by this is that people don't like to take or know that they are wrong. We love to point fingers and give excuses. From what I am learning through my Christian walk is that in order to grow you need to and accept your flaws. In AA meetings the first step that they take, and if they do not take this step they cannot go further, is acknowledge that they are an alcoholic. The first step us people have to take is to acknowledge that we are fallen people and we are full of sin.
You cannot just accept this as head knowledge but you must believe it in your heart. Because when you believe in your heart that's when you really accept and embrace this truth. People always love to blame God and not their sin. In my philosophy and english classes I always heard almost everyday, "If God is so good then why is there so much evil?" I heard it from students, professors, and even doctors. Basically they are saying, "Hey God! You kind of screwed up! You're suppose to be perfect and good? Well you missed a few spots.... great job God.... way to go..."
I had a english professor this past year and we were reviewing this book that we read. I completely forgot what book, (hhaha i know i know...) but in this one section of the book the character says, "God why are you giving so much hardship?" and the professor says, "I can relate to this character. You know sometimes I look at this world and I say man... God is not perfect, He is faulty. He is so faulty and imperfect because just look at how He screwed up this world." (like I said I had to take everything they said as valid points if I wanted to learn and understand them, which I think most Christians should do instead of trying to pick a fight all the time. The more you know what you are up against the more effective you can be!)
Well my answer to all you people who are asking that same question is simply, we live in a fallen world and it sucks. It's not God's fault, it's our fault, we screwed up not God. Then people ask, "Well isn't God soverign? Can't He do anything? If He can then can't He just make things perfect?" Well then we will be like robots and be programed to love instead of choosing to love. How would your spouse like it if you gave them a gift and said "Oh honey I did it because I know I have to do it." I don't think they will be falling on the floor for you. I had one person go on to ask, "Well it's still God's fault! He made free will! and He knew we were going to mess up so it's His fault." And that just proves my point because now we are going in circles. Us people do not like to accept any responsibility for our actions, it's never our fault... it's God's fault!
But when you do you finally see how sinful and fallen you are it is a rude awakening because you are worse than you thought you are. In fact we are much more worse than when we think we are at our worst. And when this all becomes real it just poops on your parade and makes you feel miserable. I've had this experience before and I was so depressed for 2 days that I could not sing praise songs. I just said, "How can I sing these songs of love to God when I know I do not mean them."
But the awesome and great part about this is that this is when grace and the Gospel becomes real to you. After I had my experience where I saw the truth I got a taste of how much God loves me because I saw just how unloveable I was and at the same time I saw how God loved me with all His heart. And just a taste of God's love can make you feel so alive.
This is what I beg for my youth group students and small group members to experience. The brokenness of one's sinfulness and the overflow of God's grace. Becuase once you experience, understand, and know this it changes your life forever. Problems become small, you have a purpose, you feel more than complete, and you cannot help but to shout God's name to everyone you know, everywhere you go, no matter what poop life brings you.
How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You.
(i know most of this was just rambling.... read the book it's awesome)
shes on youtube check it out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1oGzekYOZY
Basically this lady Susan is going through some crazy rough patches in her life (breaking up with a boyfriend who keeps telling her she's the one and seeing him with another woman a week after.... pretty rough...) and she feels that God has left her and is angry with God. So because she knows that we are married to Christ she decides to take God to marriage counseling. She creates this fictitious therapist who is a mix of all the pastors and counselors who really helped her through her rough times and she creates a version of God and Jesus (as if they are there) out of all the ways God has spoken and responded to her.
I just finished the book and I do not want to ruin it for anyone who wants to read it, but spoke to me through this book. He reminded me that life is not about us, it's not about what we want, but it is simply about Him.
This idea is the reason why people have a hard time believing in God. I love philosophy and English simply because I get to see how secular people think and why they think it. It helps me understand them and see where they are coming from. It's also tiring and conflicting at times because in order to get a good grade in the class or understand what they are teaching I have to, not necessarily compromise my faith, but I have to listen to their points and accept them as valid. And the conclusion that I have come to is that the reason why most people struggle with believing in God is because people just simply cannot accept responsibility.
What I mean by this is that people don't like to take or know that they are wrong. We love to point fingers and give excuses. From what I am learning through my Christian walk is that in order to grow you need to and accept your flaws. In AA meetings the first step that they take, and if they do not take this step they cannot go further, is acknowledge that they are an alcoholic. The first step us people have to take is to acknowledge that we are fallen people and we are full of sin.
You cannot just accept this as head knowledge but you must believe it in your heart. Because when you believe in your heart that's when you really accept and embrace this truth. People always love to blame God and not their sin. In my philosophy and english classes I always heard almost everyday, "If God is so good then why is there so much evil?" I heard it from students, professors, and even doctors. Basically they are saying, "Hey God! You kind of screwed up! You're suppose to be perfect and good? Well you missed a few spots.... great job God.... way to go..."
I had a english professor this past year and we were reviewing this book that we read. I completely forgot what book, (hhaha i know i know...) but in this one section of the book the character says, "God why are you giving so much hardship?" and the professor says, "I can relate to this character. You know sometimes I look at this world and I say man... God is not perfect, He is faulty. He is so faulty and imperfect because just look at how He screwed up this world." (like I said I had to take everything they said as valid points if I wanted to learn and understand them, which I think most Christians should do instead of trying to pick a fight all the time. The more you know what you are up against the more effective you can be!)
Well my answer to all you people who are asking that same question is simply, we live in a fallen world and it sucks. It's not God's fault, it's our fault, we screwed up not God. Then people ask, "Well isn't God soverign? Can't He do anything? If He can then can't He just make things perfect?" Well then we will be like robots and be programed to love instead of choosing to love. How would your spouse like it if you gave them a gift and said "Oh honey I did it because I know I have to do it." I don't think they will be falling on the floor for you. I had one person go on to ask, "Well it's still God's fault! He made free will! and He knew we were going to mess up so it's His fault." And that just proves my point because now we are going in circles. Us people do not like to accept any responsibility for our actions, it's never our fault... it's God's fault!
But when you do you finally see how sinful and fallen you are it is a rude awakening because you are worse than you thought you are. In fact we are much more worse than when we think we are at our worst. And when this all becomes real it just poops on your parade and makes you feel miserable. I've had this experience before and I was so depressed for 2 days that I could not sing praise songs. I just said, "How can I sing these songs of love to God when I know I do not mean them."
But the awesome and great part about this is that this is when grace and the Gospel becomes real to you. After I had my experience where I saw the truth I got a taste of how much God loves me because I saw just how unloveable I was and at the same time I saw how God loved me with all His heart. And just a taste of God's love can make you feel so alive.
This is what I beg for my youth group students and small group members to experience. The brokenness of one's sinfulness and the overflow of God's grace. Becuase once you experience, understand, and know this it changes your life forever. Problems become small, you have a purpose, you feel more than complete, and you cannot help but to shout God's name to everyone you know, everywhere you go, no matter what poop life brings you.
How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You.
(i know most of this was just rambling.... read the book it's awesome)
shes on youtube check it out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1oGzekYOZY
Saturday, June 6, 2009
The Harvest is Plentiful.....
I played several games of basketball the other day and it was aweeeesome. I had to go pick up my friend at his work but on the way I wanted some gatorade and a sandwich so I stopped by Pathmark which was on the way and got the goods. I went onto the self-check out line as I usually do and everything seemed very routine and ordinary until I looked at the people in front of me.
It was a little foster child with a foster father. The reason why I could tell was because the boy was black and the father was white but I was just watching them. The boy was scanning the grocceries and the father was bagging them and they made a great team. The boy was careful to make sure that each groccery item was properly scanned and the father patiently and lovingly watched his foster son enjoy scanning the items. I was also looking at the different grocceries that the father bought for his family and I'm sure for the boy as well and there was your usual groccery products such as milk, eggs, organe juice but there was also the items that the boy definately picked out and that the father bought for his foster son out of the love from his heart. The items were Spongebob fruit snacks, dunkaroos, gushers, and air heads.
I was watching them and it touched my heart to see a man love, basically, a complete stranger who was in need. A stranger who, I'm assuming, either was unwanted, unloved, or even abused by his real father, mother, or both. As much as it touched my heart, it broke it as well.
I believe that God definately called me to work with children because nothing makes me happier than to see a child succeed. Especially children who struggle and fight so hard just to succeed and to see them accomplish their goals and dreams makes me so happy. It's the reason why I want to be an elementary school teacher; to see children succeed! But most importantly when I see children come to accept Christ and cry out to God and really come to their knees before God makes me feel alive! And at the same time, nothing breaks my heart more than to see children suffer. When I see news about Uganda and the children abductions or even just seeing a child hurt kills me.
But what especially kills me are orphans and foster children. To see someone just hurt and ache because that person is unwanted or abused killssssssss me. It really makes my heart ache. How painful it must be to know that you are unwanted. I really hope that when I am older I have an oppurtunity to adopt a child so that I can really love that child so that he/she can feel the love that any human being deserves.
Sometimes I feel spoiled rotten because not only do my parents make a decent amount of money but they love me to death and I love them and we have such a loving relationship; that is so rare these days. But the advantages to that are because they support me so much financially I have that much money and love to give out to other people. Also this summer I've been looking for a summer job but it's been hard as heck and I found nothing, but after seeing that scene in Pathmark and seeing the need I've decided to dedicate my summer to volunteer work at any orphanage/foster home and I hope God can use me to show them how much He loves them even when they feel so unloved.
But overall I really hope and pray that when my life is over it will be testimony of me showing the lost, needy, broken, hopeless, helpless, heart broken, sick, hungry, poor, abused, unwanted, and unsaved the love of Christ.
Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the needy from the hands of the wicked!
Jeremiah 20:13
There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home
- Leeland- Tears of the Saints
It was a little foster child with a foster father. The reason why I could tell was because the boy was black and the father was white but I was just watching them. The boy was scanning the grocceries and the father was bagging them and they made a great team. The boy was careful to make sure that each groccery item was properly scanned and the father patiently and lovingly watched his foster son enjoy scanning the items. I was also looking at the different grocceries that the father bought for his family and I'm sure for the boy as well and there was your usual groccery products such as milk, eggs, organe juice but there was also the items that the boy definately picked out and that the father bought for his foster son out of the love from his heart. The items were Spongebob fruit snacks, dunkaroos, gushers, and air heads.
I was watching them and it touched my heart to see a man love, basically, a complete stranger who was in need. A stranger who, I'm assuming, either was unwanted, unloved, or even abused by his real father, mother, or both. As much as it touched my heart, it broke it as well.
I believe that God definately called me to work with children because nothing makes me happier than to see a child succeed. Especially children who struggle and fight so hard just to succeed and to see them accomplish their goals and dreams makes me so happy. It's the reason why I want to be an elementary school teacher; to see children succeed! But most importantly when I see children come to accept Christ and cry out to God and really come to their knees before God makes me feel alive! And at the same time, nothing breaks my heart more than to see children suffer. When I see news about Uganda and the children abductions or even just seeing a child hurt kills me.
But what especially kills me are orphans and foster children. To see someone just hurt and ache because that person is unwanted or abused killssssssss me. It really makes my heart ache. How painful it must be to know that you are unwanted. I really hope that when I am older I have an oppurtunity to adopt a child so that I can really love that child so that he/she can feel the love that any human being deserves.
Sometimes I feel spoiled rotten because not only do my parents make a decent amount of money but they love me to death and I love them and we have such a loving relationship; that is so rare these days. But the advantages to that are because they support me so much financially I have that much money and love to give out to other people. Also this summer I've been looking for a summer job but it's been hard as heck and I found nothing, but after seeing that scene in Pathmark and seeing the need I've decided to dedicate my summer to volunteer work at any orphanage/foster home and I hope God can use me to show them how much He loves them even when they feel so unloved.
But overall I really hope and pray that when my life is over it will be testimony of me showing the lost, needy, broken, hopeless, helpless, heart broken, sick, hungry, poor, abused, unwanted, and unsaved the love of Christ.
Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the needy from the hands of the wicked!
Jeremiah 20:13
There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home
- Leeland- Tears of the Saints
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Christian Dating........
This is the first summer where I get to spend 2 months doing nothing. Honestly.... it's been AWESOME!! I've been getting a lot of rest, watching a lot of NBA playoffs and baseball, and watching a lot of movies! But most the movies that I've been watching are..... love movies.... chick flicks.... and you know what? I love them......
I'm a sucker for a good love story who isn't? I think that if all of us men are honest with ourselves we will see that we too love love movies. I have a roommate who can be very insensitive sometimes and laughs when I when I get emotional during certain movies, but he got into Korean dramas! And he's white! Go figure....
So yea because I've been watching so many love movies I've been thinking a lot about love..... I am always inspired by the guy who being so in love with the girl does not care what is in his way, he will do anything to be with that girl and I always say to myself yea.... that could be me.... But then I remember there's a difference between the main characters and myself, it's that I live by a higher authority in Christ and they don't.
I always remember that I can't just run off with any girl, but I need to run off with the girl who God has prepared for me. But who has God prepared for us? How can we find this person? What does he/she look like? When will we meet this person? These are questions that ALL Christians who are looking for human love ask. And us Christians have come up with our own theories and formulas on how to go about dating.
Joshua Harris! This man is a genius! He is a revolutionist! Not because I am a huge Joshua Harris fan, I have not read any of his books.... but this man is a genius because his formulas on dating have almost become the Christian standards of dating! I think that is incredible! But then again, it kind of sucks! It sucks because these are pretty hard standards to follow! Basically, from what I know, he says that we need to "court" each other before we date. Meaning no fooling around, keeping it simple, no kissing, none of that business. Little contact with people and all that and don't date until you are old and mature! Honestly.... I HATE it! There were so many girls I was going to ask out but because of this book and the people around me who were so influenced by this book.... I didn't do it... But it actually worked out because after seeing how inmature I was and getting to know that girl better it would have just been a giant heartbreak.... BUT STILL I WAS DENIED MY CHANCE and I blame the book! (I'm just a sinner crying like a baby, I know.....)
Honestly I think that the book and his formulas just over complicate things. What happened to the days where when if we have feelings we tell each other and start a relationship? Where did all these rules come from? Well there were my second group of friends who told me, "JUST DO IT!" They kept telling me that I was 21, I was being too prude, and that I need to learn what it's like to have a girlfriend! THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR!
But I couldn't ask out a girl. Just because I need to know what it's like to have a girlfriend is not a good enough reason for me. I want to start a relationship with a girl because of more than just curiosity. I want to care for that person, I want to love that person like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:22-33) and I want that person to be special, someone who is different from the rest and brings something that other girls don't bring. I don't feel right about asking out a girl just because I'm curious about what dating is like. I don't think anybody should do that. Dating can be beautiful if it works out but if it doesn't.... it can really hurt someone, especially girls. I've talked to some girls about their past heartbreaks and they always tell me that they measure themselves compared to how their ex's treated them or made them believe that they were. Honestly, it's sad that not enough guys know but I think as brothers and men we have a duty to fulfill for the sisters. We need to protect them and uplift them because as guys struggle with lust, girls struggle with insecurity. I don't think enough guys know that. But that's a different topic.
So then what's next? Can you just date anybody? Or should you follow Joshua Harris? I think the answer is depends on the person and what God wants that person to do. We all do not live the same lives, and God does not have the same exact plan for all of us. I think the answer to when we should date is between you and God.
I believe that as long as you are close to God, have a good relationship with Him, and honor Him He will honor you and bless you with these joys. I also believe that there is no mistake that is too big for God. So even if we make a mistake and get hurt badly it is never too painful for God to heal. But then you don't want to take advantage of this.
You don't want to say, "Oh God will rescue me so let me just go out and make mistakes!" I use to think like that when I was a kid, "Oh if God forgives all my sins past, present, and future then I can sin all I want!" If you think like that then you don't love God, you don't understand grace, and you've never seen God. People who follow God don't ask such questions or wonder such things because they understand God! These thoughts do not cross their minds because they are so in love with God! For example: if someone saved your life from a car you don't ask yourself "This person is a nice guy, let me take him out to McDonalds. I think he will be cool with that, I mean as long as I am taking him out right?" NOBODY WOULD THINK THAT, we would take this person to a nice restaurant or do something extravagent for him/her because you would understand how much this stranger cared for you to risk his/her life to save yours. Same goes with God. If you try to think of ways to get away with things with God then you do not understand His love nor do you love Him; plain and simple. Because when you understand God's love and love God Himself your questions are more like this: "How can I NOT give up things for God? How can I NOT serve God? How can I NOT go where God wants me to go?"
So I think the answer to finding your prince/princess charming is something between you and God. If you are walking close with God He will lead you to who He wants to lead you to and (here is the scary part....) if he wants you to be single, He will fulfill all of your deepest desires, wants, and needs. So just stay close to God and be led by Him because honeslty, how can you not?
32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well
- Mathew 6:32-33
I'm a sucker for a good love story who isn't? I think that if all of us men are honest with ourselves we will see that we too love love movies. I have a roommate who can be very insensitive sometimes and laughs when I when I get emotional during certain movies, but he got into Korean dramas! And he's white! Go figure....
So yea because I've been watching so many love movies I've been thinking a lot about love..... I am always inspired by the guy who being so in love with the girl does not care what is in his way, he will do anything to be with that girl and I always say to myself yea.... that could be me.... But then I remember there's a difference between the main characters and myself, it's that I live by a higher authority in Christ and they don't.
I always remember that I can't just run off with any girl, but I need to run off with the girl who God has prepared for me. But who has God prepared for us? How can we find this person? What does he/she look like? When will we meet this person? These are questions that ALL Christians who are looking for human love ask. And us Christians have come up with our own theories and formulas on how to go about dating.
Joshua Harris! This man is a genius! He is a revolutionist! Not because I am a huge Joshua Harris fan, I have not read any of his books.... but this man is a genius because his formulas on dating have almost become the Christian standards of dating! I think that is incredible! But then again, it kind of sucks! It sucks because these are pretty hard standards to follow! Basically, from what I know, he says that we need to "court" each other before we date. Meaning no fooling around, keeping it simple, no kissing, none of that business. Little contact with people and all that and don't date until you are old and mature! Honestly.... I HATE it! There were so many girls I was going to ask out but because of this book and the people around me who were so influenced by this book.... I didn't do it... But it actually worked out because after seeing how inmature I was and getting to know that girl better it would have just been a giant heartbreak.... BUT STILL I WAS DENIED MY CHANCE and I blame the book! (I'm just a sinner crying like a baby, I know.....)
Honestly I think that the book and his formulas just over complicate things. What happened to the days where when if we have feelings we tell each other and start a relationship? Where did all these rules come from? Well there were my second group of friends who told me, "JUST DO IT!" They kept telling me that I was 21, I was being too prude, and that I need to learn what it's like to have a girlfriend! THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR!
But I couldn't ask out a girl. Just because I need to know what it's like to have a girlfriend is not a good enough reason for me. I want to start a relationship with a girl because of more than just curiosity. I want to care for that person, I want to love that person like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:22-33) and I want that person to be special, someone who is different from the rest and brings something that other girls don't bring. I don't feel right about asking out a girl just because I'm curious about what dating is like. I don't think anybody should do that. Dating can be beautiful if it works out but if it doesn't.... it can really hurt someone, especially girls. I've talked to some girls about their past heartbreaks and they always tell me that they measure themselves compared to how their ex's treated them or made them believe that they were. Honestly, it's sad that not enough guys know but I think as brothers and men we have a duty to fulfill for the sisters. We need to protect them and uplift them because as guys struggle with lust, girls struggle with insecurity. I don't think enough guys know that. But that's a different topic.
So then what's next? Can you just date anybody? Or should you follow Joshua Harris? I think the answer is depends on the person and what God wants that person to do. We all do not live the same lives, and God does not have the same exact plan for all of us. I think the answer to when we should date is between you and God.
I believe that as long as you are close to God, have a good relationship with Him, and honor Him He will honor you and bless you with these joys. I also believe that there is no mistake that is too big for God. So even if we make a mistake and get hurt badly it is never too painful for God to heal. But then you don't want to take advantage of this.
You don't want to say, "Oh God will rescue me so let me just go out and make mistakes!" I use to think like that when I was a kid, "Oh if God forgives all my sins past, present, and future then I can sin all I want!" If you think like that then you don't love God, you don't understand grace, and you've never seen God. People who follow God don't ask such questions or wonder such things because they understand God! These thoughts do not cross their minds because they are so in love with God! For example: if someone saved your life from a car you don't ask yourself "This person is a nice guy, let me take him out to McDonalds. I think he will be cool with that, I mean as long as I am taking him out right?" NOBODY WOULD THINK THAT, we would take this person to a nice restaurant or do something extravagent for him/her because you would understand how much this stranger cared for you to risk his/her life to save yours. Same goes with God. If you try to think of ways to get away with things with God then you do not understand His love nor do you love Him; plain and simple. Because when you understand God's love and love God Himself your questions are more like this: "How can I NOT give up things for God? How can I NOT serve God? How can I NOT go where God wants me to go?"
So I think the answer to finding your prince/princess charming is something between you and God. If you are walking close with God He will lead you to who He wants to lead you to and (here is the scary part....) if he wants you to be single, He will fulfill all of your deepest desires, wants, and needs. So just stay close to God and be led by Him because honeslty, how can you not?
32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well
- Mathew 6:32-33
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