Christian Dating........

This is the first summer where I get to spend 2 months doing nothing. Honestly.... it's been AWESOME!! I've been getting a lot of rest, watching a lot of NBA playoffs and baseball, and watching a lot of movies! But most the movies that I've been watching are..... love movies.... chick flicks.... and you know what? I love them......

I'm a sucker for a good love story who isn't? I think that if all of us men are honest with ourselves we will see that we too love love movies. I have a roommate who can be very insensitive sometimes and laughs when I when I get emotional during certain movies, but he got into Korean dramas! And he's white! Go figure....

So yea because I've been watching so many love movies I've been thinking a lot about love..... I am always inspired by the guy who being so in love with the girl does not care what is in his way, he will do anything to be with that girl and I always say to myself yea.... that could be me.... But then I remember there's a difference between the main characters and myself, it's that I live by a higher authority in Christ and they don't.

I always remember that I can't just run off with any girl, but I need to run off with the girl who God has prepared for me. But who has God prepared for us? How can we find this person? What does he/she look like? When will we meet this person? These are questions that ALL Christians who are looking for human love ask. And us Christians have come up with our own theories and formulas on how to go about dating.

Joshua Harris! This man is a genius! He is a revolutionist! Not because I am a huge Joshua Harris fan, I have not read any of his books.... but this man is a genius because his formulas on dating have almost become the Christian standards of dating! I think that is incredible! But then again, it kind of sucks! It sucks because these are pretty hard standards to follow! Basically, from what I know, he says that we need to "court" each other before we date. Meaning no fooling around, keeping it simple, no kissing, none of that business. Little contact with people and all that and don't date until you are old and mature! Honestly.... I HATE it! There were so many girls I was going to ask out but because of this book and the people around me who were so influenced by this book.... I didn't do it... But it actually worked out because after seeing how inmature I was and getting to know that girl better it would have just been a giant heartbreak.... BUT STILL I WAS DENIED MY CHANCE and I blame the book! (I'm just a sinner crying like a baby, I know.....)

Honestly I think that the book and his formulas just over complicate things. What happened to the days where when if we have feelings we tell each other and start a relationship? Where did all these rules come from? Well there were my second group of friends who told me, "JUST DO IT!" They kept telling me that I was 21, I was being too prude, and that I need to learn what it's like to have a girlfriend! THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR!

But I couldn't ask out a girl. Just because I need to know what it's like to have a girlfriend is not a good enough reason for me. I want to start a relationship with a girl because of more than just curiosity. I want to care for that person, I want to love that person like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:22-33) and I want that person to be special, someone who is different from the rest and brings something that other girls don't bring. I don't feel right about asking out a girl just because I'm curious about what dating is like. I don't think anybody should do that. Dating can be beautiful if it works out but if it doesn't.... it can really hurt someone, especially girls. I've talked to some girls about their past heartbreaks and they always tell me that they measure themselves compared to how their ex's treated them or made them believe that they were. Honestly, it's sad that not enough guys know but I think as brothers and men we have a duty to fulfill for the sisters. We need to protect them and uplift them because as guys struggle with lust, girls struggle with insecurity. I don't think enough guys know that. But that's a different topic.

So then what's next? Can you just date anybody? Or should you follow Joshua Harris? I think the answer is depends on the person and what God wants that person to do. We all do not live the same lives, and God does not have the same exact plan for all of us. I think the answer to when we should date is between you and God.

I believe that as long as you are close to God, have a good relationship with Him, and honor Him He will honor you and bless you with these joys. I also believe that there is no mistake that is too big for God. So even if we make a mistake and get hurt badly it is never too painful for God to heal. But then you don't want to take advantage of this.

You don't want to say, "Oh God will rescue me so let me just go out and make mistakes!" I use to think like that when I was a kid, "Oh if God forgives all my sins past, present, and future then I can sin all I want!" If you think like that then you don't love God, you don't understand grace, and you've never seen God. People who follow God don't ask such questions or wonder such things because they understand God! These thoughts do not cross their minds because they are so in love with God! For example: if someone saved your life from a car you don't ask yourself "This person is a nice guy, let me take him out to McDonalds. I think he will be cool with that, I mean as long as I am taking him out right?" NOBODY WOULD THINK THAT, we would take this person to a nice restaurant or do something extravagent for him/her because you would understand how much this stranger cared for you to risk his/her life to save yours. Same goes with God. If you try to think of ways to get away with things with God then you do not understand His love nor do you love Him; plain and simple. Because when you understand God's love and love God Himself your questions are more like this: "How can I NOT give up things for God? How can I NOT serve God? How can I NOT go where God wants me to go?"

So I think the answer to finding your prince/princess charming is something between you and God. If you are walking close with God He will lead you to who He wants to lead you to and (here is the scary part....) if he wants you to be single, He will fulfill all of your deepest desires, wants, and needs. So just stay close to God and be led by Him because honeslty, how can you not?

³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well
- Mathew 6:32-33